Sunday, August 30, 2009

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict (Post #2)

A and B both worked in company X (A famous magazine company). They are friends. As a writer, they always need to work until late night. One day, in order to finish the article before deadline, B worked until the next morning and was too tired to do anything. A saw all the things and kindly suggested that she could hand in the article to the chief editor for her. B thanked A and told her that her article was saved in the red thumb drive on her desk. However, A couldn’t find it on B’s desk, because her desk was in a mess. Instead, she found a pink thumb drive in B’s bag. Therefore, A handed in the pink thumb drive to the chief editor.

Later in the afternoon, the chief editor called B into his office, and asked why she handed in a thumb drive without the required article. Because of the wrong submission, the releasing time of the magazine had been delayed. The chief editor was very angry at her and said he would fine her this month for sure.

From then on, although B still acted the same as before at work, she’s avoiding talking to A. They are not friends anymore. As long as it was not about work, B acted as if she didn’t know A at all. A was very upset about this. She didn’t want to lose her friend. What would you do if you were in A’s situation?

5 comments:

  1. Hello Danhua,

    Since me and B are colleagues, i will send B an email with sincere apologies. I will tell B that i do not meant to take the thumb drive wrongly and i really want to help at that moment (since B was so tired).

    Also, i will send B some greeting or joke sms. When holiday comes, i will send B a happy holiday sms; when i saw B is stress or tired of work, i will send B a joke sms to cheer B up.

    If B still do not talk to me, i would observe B carefully. Once i know that B needs help, i will immediately offer B my help with open arms.

    If i always extend my help to B sincerely, i believe that one day B will forgive me and we will be friend again.

    Cheers,
    Ryan

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  2. Hi Danhua,

    Depending on how close me and B are. If we are merely colleagues or not really close friends, I will do something similar as what Ryan will do.

    Sending emails, sms, small postal notes on her desk may help.

    If we were close friends who hung out often, I will definitely do a different approach.
    Since we were close friends, if she stops talking to me, I will confront her and try to talk it out with her.

    Either way, I will find out the cause of the problem first, before apologizing to her. It is my fault that I assumed the files were in the pink thumb drive. I should have confirmed with her before submitting the thumb drive.
    I will also offer to pay her fine or at least offer to share the fine if the fine is too much for me. Doing this will hopefully make us friends again.

    Regards,
    Pak Ming

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  3. Hi Dan Hua,

    Assuming that B is only angry because of my carelessness, I would apologise and explain to B that that was really an unintentional error on my part. I also agree with Pak Ming that I can share the cost of the fine if it is a really large amount. However, I will have to take note of my tone when making this suggestion. B may get a false impression that I am trying to use money to solve this issue. What started out as a sincere effort to make amendments may turn out to be yet another misunderstanding.

    If we take the assumption further, B may think that I deliberately took the wrong thumbdrive to sabotage her. The issue will become more thorny if this situation occurred because B has probably lost faith and trust in me. It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. What I can do now is to be patient and slowly try to build up the trust between us again.

    -Glenda

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  4. If A could ask B where the thumb drive was when she could not find it, or if she could double confirm with B before submitting the pink thumb drive to the chief editor, this situation could be avoided.

    If I were A, I would first admit my fault to the chief editor. I would tell him that I carelessly took the wrong thumb drive, and ask him to fine me instead of B. On the other hand, I would email B to tell her the truth and ask for her forgiveness sincerely.

    I believe B would understand and they would become friends again.

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  5. It is upsetting to see two good friends drift apart due to misunderstandings. If I were A, I would give B a call to apologise for my carelessness and try to explain the situation to her.If A is unwilling to answer my call, I would try to send a e-mail and handphone messages to apologise. Similar to Xiao Yu, I would admit my mistake to the chief editor and offer to bear the fine equally with A. In addition, I would ask my colleagues if B requires any help in her job and try to help her in ways I can. I believe after some time A and B can still be good friends like before.

    ReplyDelete