My name is Wang Danhua, I’m a year 4 statistics student from National University of Singapore. I chose statistics major because of my strong interest in numbers. However, I don’t like a theory, that’s why I don’t chose maths as my major. Because of my strong interest in numbers, I also took a minor in financial maths. My aspiration is to find a job related to finance.
In my four years of university life, I have joined a lot of Co-Circular Activities, such as Chinese Drama, Wushu, Video Community, and etc. I gained a lot from these CCAs. Joined Chinese Drama made me learned how to be a team player. Joined Video Community made me learned to always hold a good attitude toward my work. Joined Wushu made me gained the spirit of insist on something.
I love travelling. Although as a student, I don’t have much time and money to travel, I have made a lot of travelling plans for my future life, hope I can made them come true some other day. I also like music and reading books, especially Chinese books. Whenever I was reading books, I was also listening to music.
Finally, as a graduating student from NUS, I hope I can find a job related to finance. I think my personality and my experience have made me a suitable person for this kind of jobs.
In my four years of university life, I have joined a lot of Co-Circular Activities, such as Chinese Drama, Wushu, Video Community, and etc. I gained a lot from these CCAs. Joined Chinese Drama made me learned how to be a team player. Joined Video Community made me learned to always hold a good attitude toward my work. Joined Wushu made me gained the spirit of insist on something.
I love travelling. Although as a student, I don’t have much time and money to travel, I have made a lot of travelling plans for my future life, hope I can made them come true some other day. I also like music and reading books, especially Chinese books. Whenever I was reading books, I was also listening to music.
Finally, as a graduating student from NUS, I hope I can find a job related to finance. I think my personality and my experience have made me a suitable person for this kind of jobs.
Hi Danhua,
ReplyDeleteI like your format of the bio-data, very neat and easy to spot the details. However, I felt you could have added more information: a bit about yourself, what are your interests, goals etc. In my opinion a personal statement should include more personal details that are not added in the cover letter.
Cheers,
Keerth
Hi Danhua,
ReplyDeleteI cant disagree that your bio data is neat and very easy to read (all thumbs up with big smile!).
Anyway, in my humble opinion, the format of your bio data is for those very successful person like PM Lee. If their bio-data is in essay format, it will be a "book-thick" bio date and it will take hours to read. For your case, i suggest you to have an essay format and tell the reader more about yourself.
Hope these help.
Cheers,
Ryan
Hi guys,
ReplyDeleteI have changed the format of my bio data, hope it is in a suitable way.
Hi DanHua
ReplyDeleteI think in your first paragraph you shouldn't mention " I don’t like theory", it seems a bit informal in your personal statement. A possible way of writing could be reasons why you chose statistic over mathematics.
In your second paragraph, you mentioned about your CCA activities, perhaps you could elaborate more about them and provide some examples on what you had learned from it and how it could help you in your future job or intership.
Finally, I agreed with Ryan and Keerth that your biodata is easy to read and you had a topic sentence to each paragraph which makes me understand what you will elaborate on next.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Danhua,
ReplyDeleteAs the other fellow bloggers have mentioned, your post is succinct and easy to read. You describe yourself and your interest clearly in the various paragraphs in terms of your CCA and hobbies.
However the part on your CCA where you mentioned those clubs you joined could be better expressed instead of stating in “Joined Chinese Drama…Joined Video Community…” which makes it look as if you are stating your achievement in bullet form. I felt that it could be better if you could paraphrase them into continuous prose since this is a personal statement; unlike your CV whereby achievements and experiences are listed in point form.
On the other hand, your photo is very professional looking, portraying you as a serious and well-groomed candidate for any job application.
All in all, your bio-data is short, sweet and very personal. It would help to introduce you to your potential employer.
Hope the comments could help to refine your bio-data.
Regards,
Wei Xiong